Day 3: Bitter sweet feelings.

The guy that I saw at the ma3rath weeks ago! I couldn't believe my eyes. What a coincidence.

"Rawna8, mnu hatha ib your dp?" Giltllaha

"My cousin, i love him so much laish?" radat 3lai

"La walla shey, i was curious" 

I was shocked. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was too much to take in but like always I enclosed my feelings in a jar labelled "Agitation. Desire and despair"

Meanwhile I remembered the feeling I had when my eyes first saw him. At that time kint fathya so gilt let me do my research. Took me a few minutes to find him on twitter, Isma 3aziz! i read his bio then BINGO!  Refuge found on a link to his ask.fm.

Went on ask fm read some questions then I took a long nap. I needed the rest.

*annoying music*

Ouff! my alarm was a screeching bat to the ear. It is so annoying.. i woke up, went to school then I figured that it was only fair to mention some of this to Sara..

I told her that he's cute but no way anything will happen as he's Rawna8's cousin for god sake. I don't want to look like one of those girls who has friends for benefits, I'm not like that and I'm definitely not gonna risk my reputation and I neither want to lose her. More to mention, she'll clearly get the wrong impression about me.

Rawna8 walked in while me and sara were discussing the situation and my issues.  Sara and I looked at each other and stayed quiet, then Taiba came along.

Me and Taiba met a long time ago but just now recently we got close... I trust her so much. She's the kind of person that's there when you need them and is always a big help. She has her own ways of being unique and is beautiful outside and inside.

In lunch i mentioned Aziz to Taiba... Told her nothing happened, but I spilled the beans.

I mentioned Aziz to Taiba And Sara but i didn't tell them about the feeling i got the first time I saw him, I've never felt that way before, and I bet that I'll never feel that way towards anyone not just because I can't but also because it hurts so much. I never want to feel this helpless and stupid again.

After I finished telling Taiba everything and I emptied the little jar inside of me… she told me she had bad news...