Day 31

We both looked at my phone.

I forgot to close it.

I picked the phone and said

"Aloo"

Sara quickly grabbed my phone and closed it!

Me: Why'd you do that?
Sara: Madre I panicked, sorry..
Me: Okay now what?

She looked at me, clueless.

I was sat on my bed, sara joined me and started hugging me, I hugged her back.

*ring*

Me: Sara hes calling!
Sara: Latsheelena!
Me: Haw laish?
Sara: A7san khal yt2adab
Me: La barid, wait b3dain agoulich laish

I answered his call, and said nothing.

A: Aloo
Me: Hmm?
A: Shfeech Modhi?
Me: All that witgouli shfeech?
A: You're making a big deal out of nothing, you can't blame me for what i did! Ou ana lu adre ena it would upset you chthy i wouldn't have done it, asef.

I got up as he was speaking, 6ila3t bara my room.

Me: Madre shgoulick 3ziz
A: Give me a second chance?
Me: What if you dissapoint me again?
A: I won't! I love you! Please?

I smiled as soon as he told me he loved me. I just cant listen to these words coming out of his mouth without smiling, its really not something i can control.

Me: You promise?

Just to double check.

A: I promise.

A: Are you smiling?
Me: Shdarack?
A: A3arfich!

I giggled.

A: Enzain yalla 7yati ana bldiwaniya, elshabab yn6rouni lazem arou7 tabeen shey?
Me: Salamtick.
A: Yslmich, ou ykhaleechle
Me: Amen, bye baby
A: Bye 7yati

He hung up.

I walked back to my room

Sara: What the hell was that?
Me: Shnu sarona?
Sara: YOU FORGAVE HIM?

I smiled.

Sara: MODHI YOU NEVER LEARN! Kaifich, ana giltlich.
Me: A7ibichhhhh, be happy for me! Y3ny I'm happy btz3leeni?
Sara: La2 bess its wrong! Kaifich 5ala9, elmuhem you're happy.

I hugged her!

Me: I love him, shssawee?
Sara: Mu m3nata you forgive him this fast!
Me: He told me he won't do it again, he promised!
Sara: I hope he keeps it.

It was 10pm already.

*Ring*

Sara: Yalla my driver hnee, I gtg baby
Me: A7ibiiccchhh!
Sara: mar7 etw9leeni?

I smirked, innocently as she was getting her stuff



Sara: Yalla bye, maminich fayda! come to school bacher fahma?
Me: Fahma!

Day 30

Questions on ask..

Q: Single?
A: Yes

Q: :*
A: ;*

Q: All girls in my school talk about you! Why?
A: Madry walla

Me: Ok sara 3ade, nothing shocking, go down..
S: Kill hatha?
Me: Adre people talk about him.

She looked at me, and said nothing what so ever.

She scrolls down...

Q: If someone told you, you have to get married now. You have two choices, marry a girl you know or let your mom pick for you?
A: Mom pick for me.

S: Hatha 7mar
Me: yumkn gal chthy 3ashan people mayshikoun?
S: Stop making excuses for him.

She kept on scrolling down

Q: do you love someone? Or have feelings for someone? The truth please.
A: Nope

Me: Still doesn't mean anything...

Q: I've been in love with you since last year, I’m afraid to tell you because I don’t know what your reaction will be..


A: Tell me who you are for starters, I won't post.

Staring at his answer, my eyes quickly started to tear up.

Me: Now what Sara? Shswe?

She said nothing.

Me: When I finally loosen up a bit this happens again? Laish chthy 7athe, laish?

She hugged me.

After 30 minutes of non stop crying I finally started to calm a bit down.

S: Modhi talk to him, call him al7een!
Me: Shgoula?
S: Tabeeni akalma?
Me: La ana aklma
S: Call..

I unlocked my phone, and called him

Sara: 76e speaker

I put it on speaker.

Me: Alloo
A: Hala 7yati
Me: Hii, 3ziz are you busy?
A: La goulay, what's up?
Me: Shift your ask

Shikat for a while, me and sara looked at each other.

A: And?
Me: 3ziz answer my question, am I not enough for you? Do you need more girls to satisfy your needs?


Silence again.

A: Modhi, Awalan sh7ga dasha my ask ou thaniyan I'm a guy ou you rejected me, shraych y3ny?
Me: That's all you have to say? Shame on you 3ziz.
A: I have to move on sometime, entay matabeeni
Me:  YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU! Embayin shkither et7bne
A: Modhi, calm down. Mala da3e ely g3da etsaweena
Me: I have to go

I closed the phone.

Me: Why are all guys assholes, laish sara? When find the right guy ou fall for him, this happens.

I started crying again

" Modhi? "

Me and Sara both looked at the same time.

Day 29

I explained everything to her.

S: Ola, intay shnu?
Me: Shnu? Chub maswait shey ana! 


She beamed.


Me: I mean it's not my problem, I'm hot...
S: Hahaaaaaay!
Me: Joking, OK yalla lt6wlena! Tell me how do you know about Wahab's salfa?
S: Y3ny Modhi, I'm not dumb inzain? Kint adre ena you were in love with him, ashkara embayin ena you talked to someone. A3arfich 3adel ana. B3dain I used your phone mara walla ashouf isma on bbm, don't kill me but I went on your twitter you were following him walla ag3ad I stalk him.

6oul el wakt she knew.

Me: Why didn't you tell me?
S: Wanted you to tell me.

I was speechless.

S: Okay enough shock, call 3ziz..
Me: Enzain okay

I called him..

*Ring ring*
.
.
.

*Ring ring*

Me: Mayrid..
S: Okay bbm him
Me: I did, myrid..
S: Check his twitter or ask..

Got my laptop, opened it and went on his twitter

Awal ma b6alta I read a convo between him and a girl, "Hadeel".

I looked at the time.. "3mins ago.."

Me: Saraa...
S: Ha shligaitay?
Me: He's having a convo with a girl, should I be worried?
S: Madre, shgallaha?
Me: "You look pretty" b3dain madre shgalat ihya ou gal "lol thanks" b3daain..
S: mn9jich?
Me: Eee.. b3dain galha "dm.."


I can tell Sara was antagonized and very disturbed by what she had heard.


I started to worry, I knew Sara was disconcert.

S: mita the last time you stalked him?
Me: Min awal makalamne, I stoped..

Sara took my laptop.

S: Yeebay lets stalk him
Me: Wait he bbmed me..

*bbm convo*

Me: Hey! Waineck?

PING!!!

A: Shfeech? bldiwaniya u?
Me: Ohh, home.

He seemed to be very calm.

Me: Gali ohwa bildiwaniya..
S: 3ayal laish eflim 3ala rasich?

I didn't know what to say, again.

S: Show off! b6iga ou b6igaa


I looked at Sara. I was tongue tied, for the third time.


S: Whatever, yebay lets stalk.

She looked through his followings

S: 7elw 7elw..
Me: Shnu?
S: Laish you stopped stalking him?
Me: I trust him, ok shligaitay..(?) show me!
S: He's followinggg

She's scrolling down..

S: Hadeel, Alzain, Fay, Alia, Mariam, even a Modhi... akamil?
Me: La2 latkmleen, ymkin they're friends
S: Madre walla, arou7 his ask?
Me: Eee...

On his profile his ask.fm was in his bio, Sara clicked it.

"Bsmilla, please dont dissapoint me 3ziz"

I whispered.

Day 28

Me: I'm sorry
Sara: Don't say you're sorry just promise me bitguleni everything e9eer right after it happens mu months or even years later.
Me: I promise

I thought she would get angry but no, she wasn't. It was as if she knew about it the whole time but kanat sakta.

S: Okay call 3ziz, check if he's okay

3ziz! I forgot about him.

I'm surprised, I wasn't thinking about him.

Me: Khal enru7 my room then I'll call him

Sara: Enzain, I knew about Wahab by the way..
Me: What? How?
Sara: It's a long story

I knew it! I felt it, my feeling are never wrong. 

Me: I have time..
Sara: No you don't

Wisalna my house.

Me: Fine, tell me when we're in my room!

She nodded.

We got out of the car, banzil walla A7mad tawa 6ali3  min elbait.

He looked at me, then quickly looked down as if he was trying to avoid me.

Sara saw him.

Sara: Ouch. Shame on hamoodi.
Me: Mobkaifa!

I quickly got out of the car and yelled his name as he was getting in his car.

" 7moood! "

He instantly looked at me and replied

"Halla Modhi"

With a fake smile on his face. It was too fake to be hidden. Does he really think turning away will make things less awkward? I'm not letting him ruin what's between us. I'm not letting this slip, I'm fixing this.

I ran to his car.

Me: Halla walllaaaaah, shtabe yaay my house?

He smiled and It wasn't fake. Good start.

Me: Ashouf gimna mansalem, gilna 7lu bess mtshouf rou7ick 3alaaay

He smiled again.

Me: Btaskit 6ool el wakt?

I leaned on his car.

Ahmad: Madre shagoulich Modhi
Me: OKH OKH ELGARAG MAYADRE SHIGOULL!!

He smiled for the third time! It's actually working.

Ahmad: Wayhich wayhich!
Me: Eee thats my 7moodi

Finally it's Ahmad, the old one, the one I used to know before he told me he likes me and made things extremely awkward.

Ahmad: Cham mara gailich don't call me that?
Me: Mabe kaifi, 7amoodi
Ahmad: Et7asiseeni gay
Me: Wina shnu?
Ahmad: MODHIOOO

I walked away with a smile.

Ahmad: MODHH WAIT!

I walked back

Me: Halla
Ahmad: Hathi sara?
Me: Eee shadarack?
Ahmad: La walla shey
Me: GOULL!!
Ahmad: 9a7by thabi7ne 3laiha, mayit 3laiha
Me: Ayshey?
Ahmad: Eee walla
Me: Okay mnu hatha?
Ahmad: B3dain agoulich
Me: Okay, bbm me


Ahmad: They should meet
Me: Laaa maku maku!

I walked up to sara then me and sara went to my room.

Me: 7amood's friend mayit 3laich...
S: Mnu hatha?
Me: Madre agoulich when he tells me!
S: Shlon y3arifna asasan?
Me: Stalker!
S: twitter?
Me: Madre, okaay yalla tell me about Wahab.
S: After you tell me what happened between you and "7amood"
Me: Okay

Day 27

I quickly shut the door

Me: Sara shfeech?!
S: Walla shey g3deen en6ali3 The Notebook
Me: 3BALLY 3EDKUM SALFAA! KHTAR3T 3LFATHE!

Sara smiled.

Taiba paused the movie.

Taiba: Wain kintay?

A 5 year old can lie better than I can, I'm literally the worst liar ever. My face turned red, I couldn't respond.

Rawna8: Khanat ma3a my sis, it's a long story..

Saved.

9adigow then started playing the Notebook again.

* Bbm convo*

Me: Jad walla Riri how do you do that?
R: Sh3arafich entaay, enzain yalla goleli sh9ar?
Me: 3n shnu?
R: Haw entay 7mara? Ma3a 3ziz..
Me: Walla shay
R: Madre etgi9een 3ala mnu... bitgolenli killshey ghasban 3laich
Me: Chub, okay b3dain agoulich
R: Okay

We stopped bbming 3ashan la they get curious, wishkoun zyada.

.. It's 6pm and I really wanted to go home. I needed to call 3ziz, I was worried about him.

I called my driver and told him to pick up.

R: Bitrou7eeen?
Me: Eee omi galtetly m6awil plus badris for my exam

Rawna8 smiled. She knew I was lying, she knew something was up.

Sara: Can you drop me home?
Me: Eee sure..

Awal ma my driver Raj wisal, me and Sara left.

Rikabna the car me and Sara.

Lisa: Modhi you told me to tell you when hamood come our home, he is there now.
Me: 7AMOUD IS IN OUR HOUSE????
Raj: yes
Me: Shit.

A7mads parents know my parents very well, min zman. So he visits us from time to time 3ashan isalim 3ala "my mother", I hope.

A7mad's dark skinned, his lips are very sharp in shape and are very pink, atleast used to be before he smoked. A7mad has very deep dimples and has long wavy hair that he brushes backwards. A7mad also has the most attractive smile, his teeth are perfect.

A7mad's hot as simple as that.

S: Laish shit? Shfee A7mad?

A7mad told me he liked me 2 month ago in Dubai. Ri7na me, 2 of my cousins, a friend and him for the weekend

I bet you're wondering and what did I resond to him? Well as usual I messed things up. Giltla ena how he shouldn't tell me this or feel this way about me ou ena shlon my parents trusted him with me. He's supposed to be like a brother to me.

After he told me how he felt about me, It got too awkward ever since.

S: Modhiiii?
Me: Walla shey.. haha
S: Whatever lie 3ade, enzain gouleeli sh9ar. Adre you weren't with Rawna8's sister, wain kintay?

I smiled.

Me: Ashkara it was a lie mu?
S: Eee
Me: Okay bagoulich, etyeen my house?
S: Eee sure

Now I don't have to stay with a7mad for long, ashwa.

On our way home I explained everything to her, including Wahab.

Sara: Modhi..

Day 26

Me: I'm sorry 3ziz
A: Bess b3arif laish magilteeli Modhi?

He was still holding my hands.

Me: I'm not proud of it.
A: Shlon kintay et3arfeena?
Me: Mmm I was in love with him.
A: Hatha mita el7ache?
Me: 3 years ago..

Ana awal magiltla 3 years, he let go off my hands. Ana shnu gilt? What does he know about this?

A: Modhi bas2ilich so2al
Me: Ask
A: Modhi entay and your bestfrined both talked to him?

Shdara? Im so confused.

Me: 3ziz mnu galick?
A: Modhi I'm so sorry I have to go

He stood up kan emnazel rasa. He was very dissapointed, I can tell.

He wanted to leave, but I didn't let him. I was in his way.

Me: 3ziz mara7 akhaleeck etrou7
A: Modhi magdar akalmich

He insisted on leaving, I didn't let him go. I don't know if thats his way of showing anger or that he's simply too dissapointed.

The furthest me and Wahab went was tell each other that we loved each other. We never went out, I always said no to him.

Me: 3ziz shnu sami3 bitgouli al7een.
A: Modhi please move, mabe I push you

I held his hands

Me: 3ziz look at me, just listen to what I have to say, okay?

He looked at me, sat down and didn't say a word. I'm guessing this was his way of accepting to hear what I had to say.

I told him how it all went, I told him about Nora and what exactly happened. I told him everything, with no lies what so ever. I came clean.

After 10 mins of detailed explanation I was done telling him.

I sat down next to him.

A: Modhi promise me ena ely giltee exactly what happened, nothing less ou nothing more?
Me: I promise 3ziz, walla.
A: I'm sorry 3a9abit 3laich, lazem arou7 al7een
Me: Why 3ziz shfeeck? Please latrou7
A: Wala shey, mu minich walla
Me: ha 3ayal shfeeck?
A: Abe arou7 awagif wahab 3end 7ada 3ashan maykharbi6 zyada
Me: Shlon?
A: Broo7 acha3ma
Me: La walla mabe mashakel 3ziz
A: Modhi lail7een hal chalb ga3ed ytkalam 3an elsalfa ou la ba3ad azeedich min elshi3er bait, gayel emsawe ashya2 wiyach

How sick is he? Jad madre mita ib ykbar wiseer rayal.

Me: Shnu gayel ba3ad?
A: Mala da3e agoul.
Me: Okay, promise me mara7 emid edick
A: Modhi madre shbi9er walla

He stood up, held my hands and pulled me up.

A: Mabe a6awil 3laich ana, rou7ay 7ag rfejatich okay? Don't worry about me

I didn't say a word. I stood up and he walked me to the door.

A: Ana bamshe tabeen shey?
Me: Salamtick
A: Alla yslmich, Modhi 3ashani deeray balich 3ala rou7ich
Me: Enshalla, enta ba3ad
A: A7ibich wayed walla
Me: Ana ba3ad

He left and I went to the girls.


Awal wisalt I opened the door, they were all sitting in a circle ou awal madkhalt all turned around and looked at me


Sara's eyes were red, she was crying.

Day 25: Tensity and wrong timing

On our way to rawna8's house 3ziz called me.

I couldn't answer him, I was too close to them.

I bbmed him

Me: Hi
A: Hey, sorry walla my phone 6ifa, kan low battery
Me: Aha okay.

Khatara3t, I over reacted 3ala wala shey. I thought he didn't want to talk to me, It actually made me regret saying no to him. Mabe abayinla though.

He told Wahab about me, mabe as2ila why he did bes abe abayinla ena I'm very upset 3ala ely sawa.

A: I miss you
Me: Me too..
A: Wainech?
Me: 6al3a
A: Shfeech Modhi
Me: Wala shey
A: Etchathben 3lai?
Me: 3ziz mabe achatheb 3laick
A: 3ayal shfeech?
Me: laish gilt 7ag Wahab?
A: What are you talking about?
Me: 3ziz laish gilt 7ag wahab 3ani?
A: Awalan ana magilt 7ag Wahab wala shey thaniyan sh3arafich fee Modhi?

Busted.

Now what? Shagoula? Should I lie to him or what? No one knows my full life story, so there is none to talk to.

I read it but just didn't answer.

A: Modhi laish mu gayletli?
Me: Sorry

I didn't know what to say

A: Modhi riday 3lai bdig 3laich.
Me: Magdar I'm in the car
A: Wain ray7a?
Me: Tawni wi9alt 3end Rawna8
A: Ana ib diwaniyathum
Me: Hmmm
A: Ta3aleeli bakalmich
Me: Mu minsijick sa7?
A: Balla min9iji.
Me: La2 6ab3an...

Wisalna bait rawna8 killina ri7na g3dna bilsala elfog.

Taiba: Ta3alay Modh gi3day yami bakalmich ib mawthou3
Rawna8: La digeega bitye ma3ay
Me: Wain?
Rawna8: Ta3alay entay.. Ni6row shway hne okay?

I went with her, miskat eedi ou was taking me down stairs.

Shkait bilwath3.

Me: Rawna8 wain emwadyatne?

I stopped.

R: Malich shighel ta3alay ma3ay entay

She force pulled me.

Me: Okay wait, ana wain ray7aa!!
R: Shh! Bess ta3alay

We were in the basement, she opened the door. The first thing I saw was 3ziz. 


Kan ga3ed 3al couch, he didn't seem very happy.

R: Yalla dishay!
Me: Emmm...
R: Maku a7ad bilbait, ekhthow ra7atkum!


She smirked.

Me: La Rawna8 ou what about the girls..(?)
R: Malich shighel feehum aragi3lihum salfa

I wanted to go in but didn't want to at the same time. This is so wrong, him and I in a basement alone? I'm not sure my parents are okay with this. Ou ba3dain y3ny masar ela laman he found out about Wahab? Ouf.

A: Modhi ta3alay

He pat the cushion ely yama twice. Yabeeni ag3ad yama? When no one's around? Okay I'm worried.

I stood still, I didnt want to go. Adre he's angry about salfat Wahab.

Rawna8 shut the door. I had to go to him, I looked weird standing there alone.

I walked towards him. Wisalt but I didn't sit down, he was too close. It was a large one person couch.

He held my hands, and looked me in the eyes

A: Modhi..