I explained everything to her.
S: Ola, intay shnu?
Me: Shnu? Chub maswait shey ana!
She beamed.
Me: I mean it's not my problem, I'm hot...
S: Hahaaaaaay!
Me: Joking, OK yalla lt6wlena! Tell me how do you know about Wahab's
salfa?
S: Y3ny Modhi, I'm not dumb inzain? Kint adre ena you were in love with him, ashkara
embayin ena you talked to someone. A3arfich 3adel ana. B3dain I used your phone mara walla ashouf isma
on bbm, don't kill me but I went on your twitter you were following him walla ag3ad I stalk him.
6oul el wakt she knew.
Me: Why didn't you tell me?
S: Wanted you to tell me.
I was speechless.
S: Okay enough shock, call 3ziz..
Me: Enzain okay
I called him..
*Ring ring*
.
.
.
*Ring ring*
Me: Mayrid..
S: Okay bbm him
Me: I did, myrid..
S: Check his twitter or ask..
Got my laptop, opened it and went on his twitter
Awal ma b6alta I read a convo between him and a girl, "Hadeel".
I looked at the time.. "3mins ago.."
Me: Saraa...
S: Ha shligaitay?
Me: He's having a convo with a girl, should I be worried?
S: Madre, shgallaha?
Me: "You look pretty" b3dain madre shgalat ihya ou gal "lol thanks" b3daain..
S: mn9jich?
Me: Eee.. b3dain galha "dm.."
I can tell Sara was antagonized and very disturbed by what she had heard.
I started to worry, I knew Sara was disconcert.
S: mita the last time you stalked him?
Me: Min awal makalamne, I stoped..
Sara took my laptop.
S: Yeebay lets stalk him
Me: Wait he bbmed me..
*bbm convo*
Me: Hey! Waineck?
PING!!!
A: Shfeech? bldiwaniya u?
Me: Ohh, home.
He seemed to be very calm.
Me: Gali ohwa bildiwaniya..
S: 3ayal laish eflim 3ala rasich?
I didn't know what to say, again.
S: Show off! b6iga ou b6igaa
I looked at Sara. I was tongue tied, for the third time.
S: Whatever, yebay lets stalk.
She looked through his followings
S: 7elw 7elw..
Me: Shnu?
S: Laish you stopped stalking him?
Me: I trust him, ok shligaitay..(?) show me!
S: He's followinggg
She's scrolling down..
S: Hadeel, Alzain, Fay, Alia, Mariam, even a Modhi... akamil?
Me: La2 latkmleen, ymkin they're friends
S: Madre walla, arou7 his ask?
Me: Eee...
On his profile his ask.fm was in his bio, Sara clicked it.
"Bsmilla, please dont dissapoint me 3ziz"
I whispered.
Apr 25, 2012
Apr 23, 2012
Day 28
Me: I'm sorry
Sara: Don't say you're sorry just promise me bitguleni everything e9eer right after it happens mu months or even years later.
Me: I promise
Sara: Don't say you're sorry just promise me bitguleni everything e9eer right after it happens mu months or even years later.
Me: I promise
I thought she would get angry but no, she wasn't. It was as if she knew about it the whole time but kanat sakta.
S: Okay call 3ziz, check if he's okay
3ziz! I forgot about him.
I'm surprised, I wasn't thinking about him.
Me: Khal enru7 my room then I'll call him
Sara: Enzain, I knew about Wahab by the way..
Me: What? How?
Sara: It's a long story
I knew it! I felt it, my feeling are never wrong.
Me: I have time..
Sara: No you don't
Wisalna my house.
Me: Fine, tell me when we're in my room!
She nodded.
We got out of the car, banzil walla A7mad tawa 6ali3 min elbait.
He looked at me, then quickly looked down as if he was trying to avoid me.
Sara saw him.
Sara: Ouch. Shame on hamoodi.
Me: Mobkaifa!
I quickly got out of the car and yelled his name as he was getting in his car.
" 7moood! "
He instantly looked at me and replied
"Halla Modhi"
With a fake smile on his face. It was too fake to be hidden. Does he really think turning away will make things less awkward? I'm not letting him ruin what's between us. I'm not letting this slip, I'm fixing this.
I ran to his car.
Me: Halla walllaaaaah, shtabe yaay my house?
He smiled and It wasn't fake. Good start.
Me: Ashouf gimna mansalem, gilna 7lu bess mtshouf rou7ick 3alaaay
He smiled again.
Me: Btaskit 6ool el wakt?
I leaned on his car.
Ahmad: Madre shagoulich Modhi
Me: OKH OKH ELGARAG MAYADRE SHIGOULL!!
He smiled for the third time! It's actually working.
Ahmad: Wayhich wayhich!
Me: Eee thats my 7moodi
Finally it's Ahmad, the old one, the one I used to know before he told me he likes me and made things extremely awkward.
Ahmad: Cham mara gailich don't call me that?
Me: Mabe kaifi, 7amoodi
Ahmad: Et7asiseeni gay
Me: Wina shnu?
Ahmad: MODHIOOO
I walked away with a smile.
Ahmad: MODHH WAIT!
I walked back
Me: Halla
Ahmad: Hathi sara?
Me: Eee shadarack?
Ahmad: La walla shey
Me: GOULL!!
Ahmad: 9a7by thabi7ne 3laiha, mayit 3laiha
Me: Ayshey?
Ahmad: Eee walla
Me: Okay mnu hatha?
Ahmad: B3dain agoulich
Me: Okay, bbm me
Ahmad: They should meet
Me: Laaa maku maku!
I walked up to sara then me and sara went to my room.
Me: 7amood's friend mayit 3laich...
S: Mnu hatha?
Me: Madre agoulich when he tells me!
S: Shlon y3arifna asasan?
Me: Stalker!
S: twitter?
Me: Madre, okaay yalla tell me about Wahab.
S: After you tell me what happened between you and "7amood"
Me: Okay
Apr 20, 2012
Day 27
I quickly shut the door
Me: Sara shfeech?!
S: Walla shey g3deen en6ali3 The Notebook
Me: 3BALLY 3EDKUM SALFAA! KHTAR3T 3LFATHE!
Sara smiled.
Taiba paused the movie.
Taiba: Wain kintay?
A 5 year old can lie better than I can, I'm literally the worst liar ever. My face turned red, I couldn't respond.
Rawna8: Khanat ma3a my sis, it's a long story..
Saved.
9adigow then started playing the Notebook again.
* Bbm convo*
Me: Jad walla Riri how do you do that?
R: Sh3arafich entaay, enzain yalla goleli sh9ar?
Me: 3n shnu?
R: Haw entay 7mara? Ma3a 3ziz..
Me: Walla shay
R: Madre etgi9een 3ala mnu... bitgolenli killshey ghasban 3laich
Me: Chub, okay b3dain agoulich
R: Okay
We stopped bbming 3ashan la they get curious, wishkoun zyada.
.. It's 6pm and I really wanted to go home. I needed to call 3ziz, I was worried about him.
I called my driver and told him to pick up.
R: Bitrou7eeen?
Me: Eee omi galtetly m6awil plus badris for my exam
Rawna8 smiled. She knew I was lying, she knew something was up.
Sara: Can you drop me home?
Me: Eee sure..
Awal ma my driver Raj wisal, me and Sara left.
Rikabna the car me and Sara.
Lisa: Modhi you told me to tell you when hamood come our home, he is there now.
Me: 7AMOUD IS IN OUR HOUSE????
Raj: yes
Me: Shit.
A7mads parents know my parents very well, min zman. So he visits us from time to time 3ashan isalim 3ala "my mother", I hope.
A7mad's dark skinned, his lips are very sharp in shape and are very pink, atleast used to be before he smoked. A7mad has very deep dimples and has long wavy hair that he brushes backwards. A7mad also has the most attractive smile, his teeth are perfect.
A7mad's hot as simple as that.
S: Laish shit? Shfee A7mad?
A7mad told me he liked me 2 month ago in Dubai. Ri7na me, 2 of my cousins, a friend and him for the weekend
I bet you're wondering and what did I resond to him? Well as usual I messed things up. Giltla ena how he shouldn't tell me this or feel this way about me ou ena shlon my parents trusted him with me. He's supposed to be like a brother to me.
After he told me how he felt about me, It got too awkward ever since.
S: Modhiiii?
Me: Walla shey.. haha
S: Whatever lie 3ade, enzain gouleeli sh9ar. Adre you weren't with Rawna8's sister, wain kintay?
I smiled.
Me: Ashkara it was a lie mu?
S: Eee
Me: Okay bagoulich, etyeen my house?
S: Eee sure
Now I don't have to stay with a7mad for long, ashwa.
On our way home I explained everything to her, including Wahab.
Sara: Modhi..
Me: Sara shfeech?!
S: Walla shey g3deen en6ali3 The Notebook
Me: 3BALLY 3EDKUM SALFAA! KHTAR3T 3LFATHE!
Sara smiled.
Taiba paused the movie.
Taiba: Wain kintay?
A 5 year old can lie better than I can, I'm literally the worst liar ever. My face turned red, I couldn't respond.
Rawna8: Khanat ma3a my sis, it's a long story..
Saved.
9adigow then started playing the Notebook again.
* Bbm convo*
Me: Jad walla Riri how do you do that?
R: Sh3arafich entaay, enzain yalla goleli sh9ar?
Me: 3n shnu?
R: Haw entay 7mara? Ma3a 3ziz..
Me: Walla shay
R: Madre etgi9een 3ala mnu... bitgolenli killshey ghasban 3laich
Me: Chub, okay b3dain agoulich
R: Okay
We stopped bbming 3ashan la they get curious, wishkoun zyada.
.. It's 6pm and I really wanted to go home. I needed to call 3ziz, I was worried about him.
I called my driver and told him to pick up.
R: Bitrou7eeen?
Me: Eee omi galtetly m6awil plus badris for my exam
Rawna8 smiled. She knew I was lying, she knew something was up.
Sara: Can you drop me home?
Me: Eee sure..
Awal ma my driver Raj wisal, me and Sara left.
Rikabna the car me and Sara.
Lisa: Modhi you told me to tell you when hamood come our home, he is there now.
Me: 7AMOUD IS IN OUR HOUSE????
Raj: yes
Me: Shit.
A7mads parents know my parents very well, min zman. So he visits us from time to time 3ashan isalim 3ala "my mother", I hope.
A7mad's dark skinned, his lips are very sharp in shape and are very pink, atleast used to be before he smoked. A7mad has very deep dimples and has long wavy hair that he brushes backwards. A7mad also has the most attractive smile, his teeth are perfect.
A7mad's hot as simple as that.
S: Laish shit? Shfee A7mad?
A7mad told me he liked me 2 month ago in Dubai. Ri7na me, 2 of my cousins, a friend and him for the weekend
I bet you're wondering and what did I resond to him? Well as usual I messed things up. Giltla ena how he shouldn't tell me this or feel this way about me ou ena shlon my parents trusted him with me. He's supposed to be like a brother to me.
After he told me how he felt about me, It got too awkward ever since.
S: Modhiiii?
Me: Walla shey.. haha
S: Whatever lie 3ade, enzain gouleeli sh9ar. Adre you weren't with Rawna8's sister, wain kintay?
I smiled.
Me: Ashkara it was a lie mu?
S: Eee
Me: Okay bagoulich, etyeen my house?
S: Eee sure
Now I don't have to stay with a7mad for long, ashwa.
On our way home I explained everything to her, including Wahab.
Sara: Modhi..
Apr 17, 2012
Day 26
Me: I'm sorry 3ziz
A: Bess b3arif laish magilteeli Modhi?
He was still holding my hands.
Me: I'm not proud of it.
A: Shlon kintay et3arfeena?
Me: Mmm I was in love with him.
A: Hatha mita el7ache?
Me: 3 years ago..
Ana awal magiltla 3 years, he let go off my hands. Ana shnu gilt? What does he know about this?
A: Modhi bas2ilich so2al
Me: Ask
A: Modhi entay and your bestfrined both talked to him?
Shdara? Im so confused.
Me: 3ziz mnu galick?
A: Modhi I'm so sorry I have to go
He stood up kan emnazel rasa. He was very dissapointed, I can tell.
He wanted to leave, but I didn't let him. I was in his way.
Me: 3ziz mara7 akhaleeck etrou7
A: Modhi magdar akalmich
He insisted on leaving, I didn't let him go. I don't know if thats his way of showing anger or that he's simply too dissapointed.
The furthest me and Wahab went was tell each other that we loved each other. We never went out, I always said no to him.
Me: 3ziz shnu sami3 bitgouli al7een.
A: Modhi please move, mabe I push you
I held his hands
Me: 3ziz look at me, just listen to what I have to say, okay?
He looked at me, sat down and didn't say a word. I'm guessing this was his way of accepting to hear what I had to say.
I told him how it all went, I told him about Nora and what exactly happened. I told him everything, with no lies what so ever. I came clean.
After 10 mins of detailed explanation I was done telling him.
I sat down next to him.
A: Modhi promise me ena ely giltee exactly what happened, nothing less ou nothing more?
Me: I promise 3ziz, walla.
A: I'm sorry 3a9abit 3laich, lazem arou7 al7een
Me: Why 3ziz shfeeck? Please latrou7
A: Wala shey, mu minich walla
Me: ha 3ayal shfeeck?
A: Abe arou7 awagif wahab 3end 7ada 3ashan maykharbi6 zyada
Me: Shlon?
A: Broo7 acha3ma
Me: La walla mabe mashakel 3ziz
A: Modhi lail7een hal chalb ga3ed ytkalam 3an elsalfa ou la ba3ad azeedich min elshi3er bait, gayel emsawe ashya2 wiyach
How sick is he? Jad madre mita ib ykbar wiseer rayal.
Me: Shnu gayel ba3ad?
A: Mala da3e agoul.
Me: Okay, promise me mara7 emid edick
A: Modhi madre shbi9er walla
He stood up, held my hands and pulled me up.
A: Mabe a6awil 3laich ana, rou7ay 7ag rfejatich okay? Don't worry about me
I didn't say a word. I stood up and he walked me to the door.
A: Ana bamshe tabeen shey?
Me: Salamtick
A: Alla yslmich, Modhi 3ashani deeray balich 3ala rou7ich
Me: Enshalla, enta ba3ad
A: A7ibich wayed walla
Me: Ana ba3ad
He left and I went to the girls.
Awal wisalt I opened the door, they were all sitting in a circle ou awal madkhalt all turned around and looked at me
Sara's eyes were red, she was crying.
A: Bess b3arif laish magilteeli Modhi?
He was still holding my hands.
Me: I'm not proud of it.
A: Shlon kintay et3arfeena?
Me: Mmm I was in love with him.
A: Hatha mita el7ache?
Me: 3 years ago..
Ana awal magiltla 3 years, he let go off my hands. Ana shnu gilt? What does he know about this?
A: Modhi bas2ilich so2al
Me: Ask
A: Modhi entay and your bestfrined both talked to him?
Shdara? Im so confused.
Me: 3ziz mnu galick?
A: Modhi I'm so sorry I have to go
He stood up kan emnazel rasa. He was very dissapointed, I can tell.
He wanted to leave, but I didn't let him. I was in his way.
Me: 3ziz mara7 akhaleeck etrou7
A: Modhi magdar akalmich
He insisted on leaving, I didn't let him go. I don't know if thats his way of showing anger or that he's simply too dissapointed.
The furthest me and Wahab went was tell each other that we loved each other. We never went out, I always said no to him.
Me: 3ziz shnu sami3 bitgouli al7een.
A: Modhi please move, mabe I push you
I held his hands
Me: 3ziz look at me, just listen to what I have to say, okay?
He looked at me, sat down and didn't say a word. I'm guessing this was his way of accepting to hear what I had to say.
I told him how it all went, I told him about Nora and what exactly happened. I told him everything, with no lies what so ever. I came clean.
After 10 mins of detailed explanation I was done telling him.
I sat down next to him.
A: Modhi promise me ena ely giltee exactly what happened, nothing less ou nothing more?
Me: I promise 3ziz, walla.
A: I'm sorry 3a9abit 3laich, lazem arou7 al7een
Me: Why 3ziz shfeeck? Please latrou7
A: Wala shey, mu minich walla
Me: ha 3ayal shfeeck?
A: Abe arou7 awagif wahab 3end 7ada 3ashan maykharbi6 zyada
Me: Shlon?
A: Broo7 acha3ma
Me: La walla mabe mashakel 3ziz
A: Modhi lail7een hal chalb ga3ed ytkalam 3an elsalfa ou la ba3ad azeedich min elshi3er bait, gayel emsawe ashya2 wiyach
How sick is he? Jad madre mita ib ykbar wiseer rayal.
Me: Shnu gayel ba3ad?
A: Mala da3e agoul.
Me: Okay, promise me mara7 emid edick
A: Modhi madre shbi9er walla
He stood up, held my hands and pulled me up.
A: Mabe a6awil 3laich ana, rou7ay 7ag rfejatich okay? Don't worry about me
I didn't say a word. I stood up and he walked me to the door.
A: Ana bamshe tabeen shey?
Me: Salamtick
A: Alla yslmich, Modhi 3ashani deeray balich 3ala rou7ich
Me: Enshalla, enta ba3ad
A: A7ibich wayed walla
Me: Ana ba3ad
He left and I went to the girls.
Awal wisalt I opened the door, they were all sitting in a circle ou awal madkhalt all turned around and looked at me
Sara's eyes were red, she was crying.
Apr 14, 2012
Day 25: Tensity and wrong timing
On our way to rawna8's house 3ziz called me.
I couldn't answer him, I was too close to them.
I bbmed him
Me: Hi
A: Hey, sorry walla my phone 6ifa, kan low battery
Me: Aha okay.
Khatara3t, I over reacted 3ala wala shey. I thought he didn't want to talk to me, It actually made me regret saying no to him. Mabe abayinla though.
He told Wahab about me, mabe as2ila why he did bes abe abayinla ena I'm very upset 3ala ely sawa.
A: I miss you
Me: Me too..
A: Wainech?
Me: 6al3a
A: Shfeech Modhi
Me: Wala shey
A: Etchathben 3lai?
Me: 3ziz mabe achatheb 3laick
A: 3ayal shfeech?
Me: laish gilt 7ag Wahab?
A: What are you talking about?
Me: 3ziz laish gilt 7ag wahab 3ani?
A: Awalan ana magilt 7ag Wahab wala shey thaniyan sh3arafich fee Modhi?
Busted.
Now what? Shagoula? Should I lie to him or what? No one knows my full life story, so there is none to talk to.
I read it but just didn't answer.
A: Modhi laish mu gayletli?
Me: Sorry
I didn't know what to say
A: Modhi riday 3lai bdig 3laich.
Me: Magdar I'm in the car
A: Wain ray7a?
Me: Tawni wi9alt 3end Rawna8
A: Ana ib diwaniyathum
Me: Hmmm
A: Ta3aleeli bakalmich
Me: Mu minsijick sa7?
A: Balla min9iji.
Me: La2 6ab3an...
Wisalna bait rawna8 killina ri7na g3dna bilsala elfog.
Taiba: Ta3alay Modh gi3day yami bakalmich ib mawthou3
Rawna8: La digeega bitye ma3ay
Me: Wain?
Rawna8: Ta3alay entay.. Ni6row shway hne okay?
I went with her, miskat eedi ou was taking me down stairs.
Shkait bilwath3.
Me: Rawna8 wain emwadyatne?
I stopped.
R: Malich shighel ta3alay ma3ay entay
She force pulled me.
Me: Okay wait, ana wain ray7aa!!
R: Shh! Bess ta3alay
We were in the basement, she opened the door. The first thing I saw was 3ziz.
Kan ga3ed 3al couch, he didn't seem very happy.
R: Yalla dishay!
Me: Emmm...
R: Maku a7ad bilbait, ekhthow ra7atkum!
She smirked.
Me: La Rawna8 ou what about the girls..(?)
R: Malich shighel feehum aragi3lihum salfa
I wanted to go in but didn't want to at the same time. This is so wrong, him and I in a basement alone? I'm not sure my parents are okay with this. Ou ba3dain y3ny masar ela laman he found out about Wahab? Ouf.
A: Modhi ta3alay
He pat the cushion ely yama twice. Yabeeni ag3ad yama? When no one's around? Okay I'm worried.
I stood still, I didnt want to go. Adre he's angry about salfat Wahab.
Rawna8 shut the door. I had to go to him, I looked weird standing there alone.
I walked towards him. Wisalt but I didn't sit down, he was too close. It was a large one person couch.
He held my hands, and looked me in the eyes
A: Modhi..
I couldn't answer him, I was too close to them.
I bbmed him
Me: Hi
A: Hey, sorry walla my phone 6ifa, kan low battery
Me: Aha okay.
Khatara3t, I over reacted 3ala wala shey. I thought he didn't want to talk to me, It actually made me regret saying no to him. Mabe abayinla though.
He told Wahab about me, mabe as2ila why he did bes abe abayinla ena I'm very upset 3ala ely sawa.
A: I miss you
Me: Me too..
A: Wainech?
Me: 6al3a
A: Shfeech Modhi
Me: Wala shey
A: Etchathben 3lai?
Me: 3ziz mabe achatheb 3laick
A: 3ayal shfeech?
Me: laish gilt 7ag Wahab?
A: What are you talking about?
Me: 3ziz laish gilt 7ag wahab 3ani?
A: Awalan ana magilt 7ag Wahab wala shey thaniyan sh3arafich fee Modhi?
Busted.
Now what? Shagoula? Should I lie to him or what? No one knows my full life story, so there is none to talk to.
I read it but just didn't answer.
A: Modhi laish mu gayletli?
Me: Sorry
I didn't know what to say
A: Modhi riday 3lai bdig 3laich.
Me: Magdar I'm in the car
A: Wain ray7a?
Me: Tawni wi9alt 3end Rawna8
A: Ana ib diwaniyathum
Me: Hmmm
A: Ta3aleeli bakalmich
Me: Mu minsijick sa7?
A: Balla min9iji.
Me: La2 6ab3an...
Wisalna bait rawna8 killina ri7na g3dna bilsala elfog.
Taiba: Ta3alay Modh gi3day yami bakalmich ib mawthou3
Rawna8: La digeega bitye ma3ay
Me: Wain?
Rawna8: Ta3alay entay.. Ni6row shway hne okay?
I went with her, miskat eedi ou was taking me down stairs.
Shkait bilwath3.
Me: Rawna8 wain emwadyatne?
I stopped.
R: Malich shighel ta3alay ma3ay entay
She force pulled me.
Me: Okay wait, ana wain ray7aa!!
R: Shh! Bess ta3alay
We were in the basement, she opened the door. The first thing I saw was 3ziz.
Kan ga3ed 3al couch, he didn't seem very happy.
R: Yalla dishay!
Me: Emmm...
R: Maku a7ad bilbait, ekhthow ra7atkum!
She smirked.
Me: La Rawna8 ou what about the girls..(?)
R: Malich shighel feehum aragi3lihum salfa
I wanted to go in but didn't want to at the same time. This is so wrong, him and I in a basement alone? I'm not sure my parents are okay with this. Ou ba3dain y3ny masar ela laman he found out about Wahab? Ouf.
A: Modhi ta3alay
He pat the cushion ely yama twice. Yabeeni ag3ad yama? When no one's around? Okay I'm worried.
I stood still, I didnt want to go. Adre he's angry about salfat Wahab.
Rawna8 shut the door. I had to go to him, I looked weird standing there alone.
I walked towards him. Wisalt but I didn't sit down, he was too close. It was a large one person couch.
He held my hands, and looked me in the eyes
A: Modhi..
Apr 12, 2012
Day 24: Break even
"La2
mnu?" I bragged
"Afa Modhi tawne emkalmich!" He replied
" Madre mnu? " Rdait
"Ana Wahab..."
I walked away from the girls 3ashan agdar atkalam 3adel.
Me: Mu china giltlick latdig 3lai walla etkalimne?
W: Adre, bess bas2ilich so2al
Me: Na3am?
W: Shlon et3arfeen 3ziz?
Me: Ay 3ziz?
W: Modhi latistahbilain
Me: WAHAB ETKALAM 3ADEL OKAY?
I got really angry, how disrespectful of him. Okay y3ny I might have known ay 3ziz he's talking about but "latistahbilain" 8awiya. E7asisne em6ay7een elmyana.
W: Asif makan '3azde, okay riday 3lai et3arfeena walla la2?
I couldn't concentrate, I think I over heard 3ziz while Wahab was talking! Or is it just me, hallucination? ah, confusion.
While Wahab was talking I was making sure if it's 3ziz or not. ..seconds later I was sure, a3arif 6reeghat kalama!
Waktha I felt dizzy, Wahab and 3ziz at the same time? The only thing I can think of right now is that what if 3ziz finds out about my ugly past? Ba6ee7 min 3aina.
A7ib 3ziz mabe yakheth 3ani fikra, specially because he always talks about how girls don't think before they act and that they're "khirfan" at times.
At this moment I was in another world you can say, I couldn't hear a thing Wahab said, everything he said was pointless and made no sense at all to me.
W: Modhi? Modhi wain ri7tay?
He interrupted me.
Me: Na3am?
W: Riday 3lai..
Me: Wahab malick shigel enta, latitdakhal ib ashya2 matkhisick
Cha3amta.
I saw my friends coming towards me so I quickly tried to end Wahab's conversation.
After I said what I had to say, he didn't say a word.
Me: Ana bamshe al7een et2amer 3ala shey?
W: Modhi?
Me: Na3am..
W: Awal mara itkalmeeni chthy..
Me: People change Wahab, so should you.. ou 7arakatick elbaykha, ely malat yahal lazem etgawif.
W: Mu min9ijich Modhi
Me: la walla min9iji
They got too close, I walked away so that I can have a longer conversation with him. Wahab deserves to be talked rudely to, Wahab mu insan.
W: Ay 7arakat Modhi?
Me: Wahab etyeeli faj2a ba3ad 3 years etgouli a7ibich? Ettha7ick tara...
W: Machathabt
Me: Alla yastir 3laick bess, yalla ana bamshe ma3a elsalama..
W: Wait, Modhi adre et3arfeen 3ziz latchathbeen just tell me the truth!
Me: Bye Wahab
I hung up. I felt brave, I felt like all this came from deep inside of me. I meant every word I said to him. I didn't even have to think about what to say.
At this point, my feelings towards him were pure hate. I hate him.
I know hate is a strong word but I mean it, the things he made me go though mu shwayya.
It's 3pm and the carnival was closing, we had to leave.
I went back to my friends. They were all staring, minb3eed.
Sara: Shsar?
Me: Walla shey..
Taiba: Latchathbeen, yalla spill
Me: I don't want to talk about it
Taiba: Mu kaifich goulay..
Nora: Khalas 7aram she doesn't wanna talk about it.
7sait ena Nora 7asa feeni, finally someone understands. When I say I don't want to talk about it, I really don't.
Taiba: Way Nora shtabeen I was asking her..
Nora didn't seem very happy about the way Taiba talked to her. It was very rude, I have to admit.
Me: 6aib sij mabe I talk about it, thank you for caring.
Rawna8: 7bebti akeed you don't wan't to talk about it?
Me: Eee walla, thank you
We left right after that, ri7na all of us bait Rawna8.
"Afa Modhi tawne emkalmich!" He replied
" Madre mnu? " Rdait
"Ana Wahab..."
I walked away from the girls 3ashan agdar atkalam 3adel.
Me: Mu china giltlick latdig 3lai walla etkalimne?
W: Adre, bess bas2ilich so2al
Me: Na3am?
W: Shlon et3arfeen 3ziz?
Me: Ay 3ziz?
W: Modhi latistahbilain
Me: WAHAB ETKALAM 3ADEL OKAY?
I got really angry, how disrespectful of him. Okay y3ny I might have known ay 3ziz he's talking about but "latistahbilain" 8awiya. E7asisne em6ay7een elmyana.
W: Asif makan '3azde, okay riday 3lai et3arfeena walla la2?
I couldn't concentrate, I think I over heard 3ziz while Wahab was talking! Or is it just me, hallucination? ah, confusion.
While Wahab was talking I was making sure if it's 3ziz or not. ..seconds later I was sure, a3arif 6reeghat kalama!
Waktha I felt dizzy, Wahab and 3ziz at the same time? The only thing I can think of right now is that what if 3ziz finds out about my ugly past? Ba6ee7 min 3aina.
A7ib 3ziz mabe yakheth 3ani fikra, specially because he always talks about how girls don't think before they act and that they're "khirfan" at times.
At this moment I was in another world you can say, I couldn't hear a thing Wahab said, everything he said was pointless and made no sense at all to me.
W: Modhi? Modhi wain ri7tay?
He interrupted me.
Me: Na3am?
W: Riday 3lai..
Me: Wahab malick shigel enta, latitdakhal ib ashya2 matkhisick
Cha3amta.
I saw my friends coming towards me so I quickly tried to end Wahab's conversation.
After I said what I had to say, he didn't say a word.
Me: Ana bamshe al7een et2amer 3ala shey?
W: Modhi?
Me: Na3am..
W: Awal mara itkalmeeni chthy..
Me: People change Wahab, so should you.. ou 7arakatick elbaykha, ely malat yahal lazem etgawif.
W: Mu min9ijich Modhi
Me: la walla min9iji
They got too close, I walked away so that I can have a longer conversation with him. Wahab deserves to be talked rudely to, Wahab mu insan.
W: Ay 7arakat Modhi?
Me: Wahab etyeeli faj2a ba3ad 3 years etgouli a7ibich? Ettha7ick tara...
W: Machathabt
Me: Alla yastir 3laick bess, yalla ana bamshe ma3a elsalama..
W: Wait, Modhi adre et3arfeen 3ziz latchathbeen just tell me the truth!
Me: Bye Wahab
I hung up. I felt brave, I felt like all this came from deep inside of me. I meant every word I said to him. I didn't even have to think about what to say.
At this point, my feelings towards him were pure hate. I hate him.
I know hate is a strong word but I mean it, the things he made me go though mu shwayya.
It's 3pm and the carnival was closing, we had to leave.
I went back to my friends. They were all staring, minb3eed.
Sara: Shsar?
Me: Walla shey..
Taiba: Latchathbeen, yalla spill
Me: I don't want to talk about it
Taiba: Mu kaifich goulay..
Nora: Khalas 7aram she doesn't wanna talk about it.
7sait ena Nora 7asa feeni, finally someone understands. When I say I don't want to talk about it, I really don't.
Taiba: Way Nora shtabeen I was asking her..
Nora didn't seem very happy about the way Taiba talked to her. It was very rude, I have to admit.
Me: 6aib sij mabe I talk about it, thank you for caring.
Rawna8: 7bebti akeed you don't wan't to talk about it?
Me: Eee walla, thank you
We left right after that, ri7na all of us bait Rawna8.
Apr 10, 2012
Day 23: Rejection and regret
But as if right
now, I couldn't care less. The moment was so perfect I just wanted to enjoy ever
second of it.
R: Yalla answer, are you gona keep the boy waiting walla shnu bilthb6?
Me: 3ziz..
R: Khalas she said yes..
A: She didn't, abe asma3ha minha..
Me: 3ziz madre shagoulick..
R: Yalla answer, are you gona keep the boy waiting walla shnu bilthb6?
Me: 3ziz..
R: Khalas she said yes..
A: She didn't, abe asma3ha minha..
Me: 3ziz madre shagoulick..
A: Modhi a7ibich
Me: I'm sorry I can't do this,
Please don't make this harder for me.
We all stood there speechless, I had nothing to say because I rejected him. Rawna8 was shocked and he was just.. heart broken?
I felt bad.
Me: April fools?
He just walked away... what have I done? He's been trying his best to make me the happiest girl and I give him this? This is very hard for me, ou el sara7a som3ity aham. I might be selfish to him but I'm not if you think about it family wise, they've raised me to be the exact opposite of what I'm doing, the least I can do is be sure of who I'm with.
Am I contradicting myself? I've done this before and now I say family first? I'm confused, I need time to figure things out. I'm being over protective of my actions lately, I have serious trust issues. I'm not really sure if that's a good or bad thing.
R: Whoa Modh, that was just.... madre shagoulich
Me: I'm sorry I screwed up big time.
R: I'm not gona deny that.
Me: Mu ga3da etsa3deen Rawna8
R: Modh gouleeli el9ij et7ibeena?
Me: wayed wayed Rawna8, he's driving me crazy. I'm in love with him.
R: Okay then laish gilteela la2?
Me: Rawna8 walla I've been heart broken adre tawne agoulich ou I should have told you minziman bss walla I don't want to be hurt again. I also have trust issues.
R: 7elu 7elu ba3ad aku shey mu gailetli? Anyway listen he's my cousin, Mayit 3laich walla! Killom yt7al6am 3ala rasi 3an shkither y7ibich. Modhi if he hurts you I'll kill him ou b3dain ana a3arfa 3adel egouli killshey awal mara ib 7ayati egouli ena e7ib wa7da! Give him a chance, he'll make you happy I promise. 3ziz can be trusted.
Me: I already said no to him..
R: 3ade he'll understand.
Me: Okay shgoula al7een?
R: Ana akalma.
She called him..
*Ring*
I waited there nervously.
He hung up..
R: Sada ib wayhe..(?)
I started tearing, I messed up! I hate crying in public, but this time I just can't control myself I was in too much guilt, when I shouldn't have been.
R: Are you crying?
I said nothing just looked at her, my eyes were watering..
Me: Badig 3lai Rawna8
R: Okay yalla call
*Ring*
It's switched off...
R: Don't worry I'm sure his phone ran out of charge or something..
I stayed there, hoping it was true...
We met Sara, 6aiba and Nora right after 3ziz hung up..
All three knew something was going on, makint 3ala ba3thi! I was faking a smile, my friends we're enjoying the day I didn't want to ruin it for them.
Rawna8 bbmed me.
R: Smile 7yati entay, I promise everything's gona be ok
I smiled, Her bbm actually made me feel a lot better.
An hour later my phone rang, I didn't pay attention to it as the whole time at the carnival I was thinking of him, and only him.
Sara: Your phone's ringing...
I checked.
Me: madre mnu arid?
Taiba: Riday..
Nora: But don't say aloo, wait till they say aloo
Taiba, Sara and Rawna8 all were shocked why Nora was talking to me.
Me: Me and Nora are okay now, latkhizoun
Nora: Eee shfeekum mi7tareen, haha! Enzain yalla riday
I picked it and said nothing as Nora told me.
Person: Aloo?
It's a guy..
Me: Mnu?
Person: Ma3arafteeni?
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